Transitions, aka change can sometimes be a bitch. You actually love it, though.

So my past 5 and a half months coming home have been interesting. Good and bad. But all in all, its been transitions. 

Truthfully? It’s exhausting. I am a genuinely positive person. I am a go getter. I like making things happen. I like saying yes. I like taking the lead. 

In all honesty, lying in a bed for four days while taking naps, having good beers, and letting myself off the hook sounds like the best idea known to human kind. 

See, in American culture, for the most part, we suck at transitions. 

Well, let me rephrase. We suck at coming OUT of a stable position/environment/settting to a new setting/pose/action. 

Yes, that is loaded with metaphors and anaologies. What I mean by all of this is that one of the constant struggles on this planet is how to transition into the unknown. How to transition into the abyss of “I don’t know.”

I did the Partnership Explorations course at Landmark about 3 years ago. It was one of the most critical thinking and subtlety-explorative courses I have ever taken. I am glad I did at the time I did. In the course, one of the key things we navigate around is having to know all the answers. We look at how having to know it all is ruining your growth. 

So, here I am at Starbucks writing this blog to remind myself that knowing it all won’t help me. 

In fact, it may crush my exploration. It may be crushing my possibilities in life. 

So, fucking fuck having to know it all. Learning to ride the waves of this life is a HUGE component of breaking the outer shells of “knowing it all.” It requires commitment, malleability, fear, risks, upsets, anger, denial, rage, and triumphs along the way. 

Sam Simahk, one of the most kind and gentle souls on this planet said to me once, “When you are in a show, it’s a break from your job. Auditioning is your job.”

It had me thinking about Transitions in my career. Coming home to Fargo and soon to be Grand Forks, my knowledge of the body and skill sets is unique and different.

My job right now is the auditioning of people knowing who I am . It’s getting my voice out there. It’s failing and failing and letting go of places and people that don’t work. It’s trusting that my ass will land in the right places. It’s reminding myself I’m only 29. Even 70 year olds don’t have their shit together sometime. It’s not an age thing. It’s a way of living thing. 

If you sign up for growth and explaining, you sign up for messy and horrible days of transition and seeing a speck of a light at the end of the tunnel. If you aren’t up for it, that’s okay. Be honest with yourself, then. Don’t expect to a build a castle without getting dirt under your fingernails and concrete in your hair. 

Happy transitions 

Lee 

What Piercings and Women’s Health have to do with my life

Who knew two years ago that my body would have 8 piercings and 8 tattoos and that my career would take a turn towards studying women’s health? 

I sure as hell didn’t. 

It all started with getting my 4th tattoo. I was in Provincetown. I got an anchor tattoo at Moonshine on an impulse. Fast forward that summer to getting 4 more tattoos in a short time frame of 6 months or so. 

This lead me to Chameleon Tattoo in Harvard Square. Hands down still one of my favorite shops I have been at. Dead Rockstar in Fargo has solid solid work as well and is becoming a second home for my work for piercings as well. 

Anywho. 

Fast forward again to getting my first client here in town and dealing with Women’s Health. Fast forward to more women reaching out to me about migraines, and GI related general questions to me being a bit overwhelmed by the questions. This has me started down a journey of research, study, and trying to understand what all of it means. 

What does this have anything to do with my life and maybe yours? 

Sometimes we are put in places to do the work that needs to be done. We are also put in places to challenge the system. To challenge the norms of imagery and speak up to break stigmas. 

Yes, I have metal in my face. No, that doesn’t make me dirty, or less intelligent, or of lesser knowledge. I cannot wait for the day where the medical and physical therapy industry respects tattoos and piercings at a more accepting rate. 

Women are starting to share more about PPD, Uteral Prolapse, Bladder Prolapse, and all the gnarly effects the menstrual cycle (or a long period of lack thereof) can have on the body. 

I get excited about all of it. I get excited about pushing boundaries, ruffling feathers, hearing voices be heard. 

Most importantly, I am excited to be a part of a community that is ready for change. That is ready to be a part of a global movement. 

All because of some metal in my face, and a singular woman wanting to own her body and reclaim her health. 

Here’s to many more years of helping shape that future. 

Lee

Porn, Pizza and Postures

Interesting title right? 

I know. These used to be three things I thought I couldn’t live without. 

These three things were things I wanted on the daily. Was curious about ( mostly pizza and postures. Porn was less of a thing, but I needed a third P to catch my attention and yours.)

It felt like ritual and staple to have them in my life. It felt odd when I didn’t have them. 

But after a while, all 3 became stale. All 3 became blasé. 

Specifically, yoga become something that I hated showing up for. 

Yoga and the teaching of it for a while was something that felt like me trying to fit a bottom line in a business studio. It felt like who could have the catchiest playlist, the biggest workshops, the most privates, the most retreats, the most interesting title for your class. 

It. Was. Fucking. Exhausting,. 

So I stopped. 

For about 8 months or so, I dind’t teach at a single studio. Yes, I still did private work, I still did reiki, I still strength trained, but the world of the studio was too much for me. 

In this time I also gained perspective. I gained that I didn’t have to go all in on everything in my life to show to others that I was contributing. I didn’t have to feel ashamed of having multiple jobs and multiple passions. 

I didn’t fit the fucking mold. I loved it. Still do. 

See, I started to obsess about this all or nothing mentality. Why we get attached and hyper vigilant and focused about this One Job, One Passion, Do or DIe mentality. Why we shame and judge others who can’t do the same. We call them lazy. We call them unmotivated. We call them misguided or spread too thin. 

Just because I don’t fit your mold of stability doesn’t mean I am unstable. 

I still like my pizza, postures, and porn. Now, though, I know I don’t have to have it all to be seen as worthy. 

Happy Porn, Pizza, and Postures. 

Lee